I didn’t know what my feelings were because it all felt surreal. I didn’t feel panicked, but wondered about the people who have the virus, or whose loved ones have the virus. I didn’t feel too much fear because of my overall health, but wondered about those with weaker immune systems. I didn’t feel too much financial anxiety because of the security of my job, but what about those who aren’t able to work or get paid during this time?

Once the governor announced the closure of VA schools for the remainder of the year, I was able to identify what I felt. I feel regretful that I won’t be seeing my students or my coworkers in person anymore, and that I didn’t do more for them when I was able to see them. I feel upset that this was the most chaotic, first-year-of-teaching experience anyone could possibly have. I feel such a deep sadness thinking about how this is affecting everyone – the people who are sick/dying, all the people and families out of work, small businesses that are failing, the seniors in high school/college who don’t get the end-of-the-year fun and recognition they worked so hard for, the families who are facing an uphill climb for who knows how long…

One of my very initial questions soon after the pandemic hit the US was, “What might God be trying to do with this?” Still I wonder, what is His purpose in all of this? And I don’t ask this question desperate for a response, because I know some things aren’t meant for my knowledge and I would assume this is one of those things. So I guess my next question would be, how am I supposed to be responding? What more can I do besides washing my hands, staying home, and praying? I don’t know. All I know is that this year is off to a rocky, rocky start… and it really goes to show me how much is out of my hands.

God, firstly I want to praise You for being a loving God who is all powerful and all controlling. During this confusing and anxiety-ridden season across the world, would you remind us of Your sovereignty and of Your goodness. Please comfort those who are living in fear of their lives, and be a source of light to anyone who is living in darkness because of this pandemic. Through this time of uncertainty, would you call us to live in a way that is ultimately glorifying to you – selfless, and loving to our neighbors to the best of our abilities. Though we may not know Your exact purpose through this, would we continue to trust in You, knowing that you love us and care for us. Draw us closer to you and help us to stand firmly rooted in our faith during this chaotic time. In your Son’s holy name we pray – Amen.