I’ve been (slowly) reading a book titled Untangling Emotions by J. Alasdair Groves and Winston T. Smith that was gifted to me by a church sister back when I was going through a funk. I’m no longer in the funk, but since I’ve had time to read, I finally got to it! The repeating theme throughout the book so far is that our emotions (which are not always controllable), reflect what we value.

“…the deepest whys of your emotions are not the neural pathways they travel. Instead, the deepest whys are the things Scripture is constantly pointing to: the love and worship of your heart and your bearing the image of an emotional God.”

Groves & Smith (pg. 64)

The book has made me think about what emotions I’ve been feeling lately during this quarantine. I honestly can’t complain. It’s week 3 now, and I’ve adjusted quite well… One big thing is that I’ve felt so much peace at home with my parents. Now the big irony there is that the one thing I dreaded the most about being stuck at home, was being stuck under one roof with my parents for who knows how long. I’ve gotten into this habit of trying not to be home when they’re home, or locking myself in my room to avoid whatever conversation needed to be had. I tried so hard to avoid them without giving them any benefit of the doubt, that I didn’t realize I was the other half of the problem. Since we’ve been home, I’ve eaten at least one meal with them (usually two) every single day, and I’ve voluntarily spent more quality time with them in the past two weeks, than I have probably in the last year. The kind of peace I feel in my heart, is not the kind of peace you would expect during a chaotic and uncertain time such as this. This peace made me realize just how much I value my family. My dad has been working from home which he has been loving, and his joy brings me joy. This showed me that I don’t just value my family, I value their happiness. Maybe I just needed it to be brought to my attention? It’s not at all lost on me that this is a hard time for many people in the world.. but the one thing that made my life at home so hard in the past, is at peace.. so I’m thankful.

Heavenly Father, I wondered before.. the “why” behind this pandemic, and I really wasn’t expecting an answer to that because I was sure it was beyond my ability to comprehend anyways. However, I feel like I’m seeing a glimpse of You through this. People in my surrounding community are growing so much more thankful for the everyday things we never even thought to really enjoy. We’re gaining more awareness in how to be intentional in connecting with one another. We’re truly appreciating the little things that we’re unable to do right now… You’ve temporarily taken away some of the things we love and value, maybe to prompt us to come back to loving You first. I pray that You become our priority in this time. Thank You for making us in Your image, and would You help us to learn to love what You love, and to hate what You hate. Reveal to us the idols of our heart and guide us to grow more Christ-like in our values. Would we all continue to trust in your sovereignty and I ask for your grace to be poured out a little extra on those who are really suffering through this time… In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.