My first official year of teaching, done! I wanted to take some time to reflect on a year that was filled with lots of obstacles but also many self-realizations and growth. Those ten months felt so long… some days were a breeze when I was able to work from the comfort of my own home, but even that had its downfalls. Other days, I was overwhelmed by uncertainty and stress. As it’s almost time to start the next year, I’m already starting to forget a lot of the details.. but one thing I remember so clearly was the ever-so quickly approaching burnout. From September to January, I was basically working 12-hour days plus the time I would reserve on weekends to try and create lesson plans that might somehow get my students to respond (literally the bare minimum!!!). The dread I felt before every single class period anticipating the silent virtual room while staring at myself and talking to myself was exhausting.

When we went back into the building, we were being notified of big changes on a week-by-week basis which was understandable given the unprecedented situation, but that did not minimize the stress that it caused. It was incredibly strange feeling like I was meeting my students for the first time when they’ve known me for months. Figuring out how to teach students online and in-person at the same time was one of the most challenging tasks I’ve ever attempted… I felt so frustrated that we were being asked to do that without being given any examples of effective methods. Since we had no choice but to start anew with no one having any experience in teaching through a pandemic, I did learn to be bold in taking risks – this year was filled with trials and errors and I learned a lot from them.

All of this to say that many hours towards the end of the year were spent job searching and Googling “career paths for former teachers.” I’ve always had a feeling I might not want to spend the rest of my life in the classroom, but I thought I would at least be able to give it five years or so. I’m currently experiencing lots of doubt and regrets, but my game plan is to be patient and hopeful. I want to be patient knowing that God placed me where I am and in His perfect timing, so to work at my current position faithfully. And I want to be hopeful in knowing that I can work elsewhere if and when the time comes. I’m feeling pretty anxious looking into this next year, but with a schedule stacked with Honors classes and everyone being fully in-person, it should be a fun and interesting experience so overall I’m looking forward to it!